she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
