Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
