I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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