My liver just broke up with me...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What a dumb baby whore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
