this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
