shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
