Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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