I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
