I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize