My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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