im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize