It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
