Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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