So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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