...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
