My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
