Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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