No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
