After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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