I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
