i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
