the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
