How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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