You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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