I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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