It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize