i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Randomize