We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
