I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i've created a new STD.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
