he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
