So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
