Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize