The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
