i don't like sucking hair
i permit you to call me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My penis needs a shock collar
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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