and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
