i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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