Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
