so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
