these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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