There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
