she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
