I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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