Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
