maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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