wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
