i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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