my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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