Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
