Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
