when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
