Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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