Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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