Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
what day is it and did you see me today?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
