My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
