i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
