note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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