508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How naked do you want me to be?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
