tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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