I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize