Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
