The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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