What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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