Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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