I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
