Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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