Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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