Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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