Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
