How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
