I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
