For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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