I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
