I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
