I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
