sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize